Crying...
Sleeping with soaked pillows every bloody night... (ya, got lots pillows, and I soak them ALL)
Not letting that moment last just lil longer... (if I had known it was the last...)
thescomiss
12 years ago
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Change is GOOD
Hey y'al hows it going?Thanks for all your comments and love!I've been away for few days, went to a 7hours drive resort/beach for two days and got meself some BREAK! One thing I must say: Ghanaian guys are the BOMB!! ya well after Jamaicans! Did I get a number? You DAMN right I DID!! :D
Anyways, been wanting share what happened the other day between Tallie and I. After our last conversation, agreeing move on and stay out of each others noses, he came back. Why men always do that? Acting and saying shit they don't mean, with later regret? Anways see for yourselves:
Tallie: How are you?
(after long pause wondering why he would speak to me after what we agreed on...)
Tears: Hey
(rather a faint weak one...)
Long time
Ya....Well thought you did'nt want us speak again
Ya
But?
But doesn't mean we should'nt say hi when we see on the road
Hmmmmmm
You know what I mean
Ya I do but, last time you made it sound like you did'nt want that as well
You did too
No I didn't...And besides, we do say hi before you told me not any more
Ya we were, but you were doing otherwise and seriously intruding in my very personal affairs and couple with what I heard they said you said about me so, I saw you as somone that was close to me so as to get things to go tell people
A gossip?
(now that, right there just FUCKED me up!!)
A gossip right? that's what I am now? tell me whats so spectacular to say about you or your life to people? and how I see these so called "people" to say shit to?
It's ok. Just that any time my names mentioned to anybody at all, they will always say and I will always hear
Hmmmmm, so now you got super powers be in five million places at same time?
(I was geting pissed but was going with the flow coz I know this just one of his tricks)
So why cant you say what it is you heard
(and stop trying act a fool)
Let it go
No please tell me. Coz I know you, if I let it go, you wouldn't, not EVER! This I know for a fact!
Says who?
Says me! Have you changed?
I have. Someone slapped me and I just walked away
(now this I can't believe, coz I remember when you touch him, all hell comes loose, let alone SLAP!)
We all have to move ahead and in doing so, we let old things go
Na lie! I swear I no believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously
Hmmmmmmm.....Ama need see prove then. Wait who slapped you?
A friend, but he later came begging
Am happy for you! Change is good! I also changed...kinda
(bla bla bla....lots catch ups and yarns...)
Aiit I have to leave now coz I gots work to do
I would call you when I come touring in Nigeria again
When would that be?
Probably July or August, before I start my undergraduate
Cool and wish you all the best
Thanks, wish you too *kisses and PLEASE get yourself a girl! Can't believe you broke up with *** in less then year!
Ya, well that's life
Ya, sure sucks doesn't it?
Some will come and go
(accepting in a way, he rather not be with anyone, don't you think?)
Hey this may sound strange but I kinda reminisce alot things about us...how we goof alot, how we used cook alot together, how we fight alot too...I missed it!
(aiit this the thing about me, I take awhile get over things, and most especially those tiny things. And am NEVER ashamed accept or show my feelings, even letting them control me MOST of the times, that's why I had tell him this...)
Shame how things ended. I missed you, you know. But not in a I-want-you-back way, but in normal human way, incase you misconfuse again...Anyways I would be getting married soon you know?
(Yap! next guy I date, or fall in love with has to be the ONE! Even if it kills us!! Atleast we died together abi? Am sick and tried of heart aches already)
But even if I get married I go ema get your back
(I like Nija talks alot, though am still learning)
With money, even when your pride won't let you ask, or moral support, when you feel noone's there for you or whatever. Promise!
Same here girl! Got your back in good and bad
Thanx
Gotta run....Take care then! *kisses
Aiit take care!
Now people, isn't that how it's suppose be? No fighting, no bitting, no getting all crazy and worked up over nothing...I mean we only after all HUMANS! I encourge we all find peace in whom ever we despise, despising or despised. Be like Akon and take the blame if you have to...turst me, it would bring ALOT peace to your heart!
Had my graduation yesterday...yes yes...thank you thank you! Piling them all up now, before we settle in ONE place long enough for me to finally get an undergraduate certificate as well...and that would be on top my other twelve different schools certificates I attended, including my two year diploma, my Certificate in Management Principles and my Basics of Business certificates (Basics was the one I had a ceremony)...damn it I need break!! Been schooling since I was three and ninteen years on still I haven't achieved much out of it...anyways, like my dad always says, is not how fast but how well!!
Wishing you lots out there working ya arses off, studying and preparing for ya exams...all BEST!! Knock them silly!! LOL!
xx
Anyways, been wanting share what happened the other day between Tallie and I. After our last conversation, agreeing move on and stay out of each others noses, he came back. Why men always do that? Acting and saying shit they don't mean, with later regret? Anways see for yourselves:
Tallie: How are you?
(after long pause wondering why he would speak to me after what we agreed on...)
Tears: Hey
(rather a faint weak one...)
Long time
Ya....Well thought you did'nt want us speak again
Ya
But?
But doesn't mean we should'nt say hi when we see on the road
Hmmmmmm
You know what I mean
Ya I do but, last time you made it sound like you did'nt want that as well
You did too
No I didn't...And besides, we do say hi before you told me not any more
Ya we were, but you were doing otherwise and seriously intruding in my very personal affairs and couple with what I heard they said you said about me so, I saw you as somone that was close to me so as to get things to go tell people
A gossip?
(now that, right there just FUCKED me up!!)
A gossip right? that's what I am now? tell me whats so spectacular to say about you or your life to people? and how I see these so called "people" to say shit to?
It's ok. Just that any time my names mentioned to anybody at all, they will always say and I will always hear
Hmmmmm, so now you got super powers be in five million places at same time?
(I was geting pissed but was going with the flow coz I know this just one of his tricks)
So why cant you say what it is you heard
(and stop trying act a fool)
Let it go
No please tell me. Coz I know you, if I let it go, you wouldn't, not EVER! This I know for a fact!
Says who?
Says me! Have you changed?
I have. Someone slapped me and I just walked away
(now this I can't believe, coz I remember when you touch him, all hell comes loose, let alone SLAP!)
We all have to move ahead and in doing so, we let old things go
Na lie! I swear I no believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously
Hmmmmmmm.....Ama need see prove then. Wait who slapped you?
A friend, but he later came begging
Am happy for you! Change is good! I also changed...kinda
(bla bla bla....lots catch ups and yarns...)
Aiit I have to leave now coz I gots work to do
I would call you when I come touring in Nigeria again
When would that be?
Probably July or August, before I start my undergraduate
Cool and wish you all the best
Thanks, wish you too *kisses and PLEASE get yourself a girl! Can't believe you broke up with *** in less then year!
Ya, well that's life
Ya, sure sucks doesn't it?
Some will come and go
(accepting in a way, he rather not be with anyone, don't you think?)
Hey this may sound strange but I kinda reminisce alot things about us...how we goof alot, how we used cook alot together, how we fight alot too...I missed it!
(aiit this the thing about me, I take awhile get over things, and most especially those tiny things. And am NEVER ashamed accept or show my feelings, even letting them control me MOST of the times, that's why I had tell him this...)
Shame how things ended. I missed you, you know. But not in a I-want-you-back way, but in normal human way, incase you misconfuse again...Anyways I would be getting married soon you know?
(Yap! next guy I date, or fall in love with has to be the ONE! Even if it kills us!! Atleast we died together abi? Am sick and tried of heart aches already)
But even if I get married I go ema get your back
(I like Nija talks alot, though am still learning)
With money, even when your pride won't let you ask, or moral support, when you feel noone's there for you or whatever. Promise!
Same here girl! Got your back in good and bad
Thanx
Gotta run....Take care then! *kisses
Aiit take care!
Now people, isn't that how it's suppose be? No fighting, no bitting, no getting all crazy and worked up over nothing...I mean we only after all HUMANS! I encourge we all find peace in whom ever we despise, despising or despised. Be like Akon and take the blame if you have to...turst me, it would bring ALOT peace to your heart!
Had my graduation yesterday...yes yes...thank you thank you! Piling them all up now, before we settle in ONE place long enough for me to finally get an undergraduate certificate as well...and that would be on top my other twelve different schools certificates I attended, including my two year diploma, my Certificate in Management Principles and my Basics of Business certificates (Basics was the one I had a ceremony)...damn it I need break!! Been schooling since I was three and ninteen years on still I haven't achieved much out of it...anyways, like my dad always says, is not how fast but how well!!
Wishing you lots out there working ya arses off, studying and preparing for ya exams...all BEST!! Knock them silly!! LOL!
xx
Monday, May 19, 2008
Everyone Gets Tagged...Guess Nows My Turn!
Was Tagged by Uzezi
Rules: (which are meant to be broken...JK)
1. Link the person who tagged you...
2. Mention the rules in your blog...
3. Tell about SIX unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag SIX following bloggers by linking them... (is all about the sixes...lol)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
Ok ama get to that...first though my quirks
1. I can't do my number TWO (or lulu as some of you know it best) anywhere else! Even when I sleep over a friends, or we go for tour somewhere, or even when we move, it takes me WEEKS for the DAMN thing come out!! (kinda like it needs familiarize itself with the environment first, just be sure...lol) Odd but ture!
2. I love going to the gas station coz I LOVE smell of fuel!!Just! And nothing more to it... :D
3. Am an idol addict! I watch ALL idols there is, from Indian idols, Pakistain idols, Asian idols, Russian idols, to South African idols, West and Southern African idols, Nigerian idols and of course the father of all idols "American Idols" (though the British Pop Idols was the father, guess American Idols would be the STEP father then...LOL!) And is intersting to see the smiliarities they try put on the character of every American judge. The ever cheering and optimistic DIVA,Pula Abdul; the honest and nearly always possitive DAWG, Mr Randy Jackson (love that guy); and of course not forget our critical, burtally honest jugde, Simon Cowel (though he does have a soft spot!). In every idol, there's gotta be two guy jugdes and one girl, with exact SAME character of the judges from American idols! Pathetic if you ask me, coz they nearly NOT real...anyways, I enjoy the music anyways, not the pirated judges...(and it does eat up alot y'al time) But who knows, one of these days, you might see me as a contestent on ONE of the idols...LOL!
4. Ok this may not seem all that, but I couldn't think of anything else...I like keeping track of my blog viewers. As of now I got 111 viewers, form 11 countries and counting...saddly enough I also count other bloggers viewers...LOL!
5. This may not be all too much of a shocker, to those whom have been keeping track of my blog (and my name says it all!). I cry ALOT! I mean ALOT! I don't remember a tear free day EVER! Am serious here....I think I need help...I can't do anything without crying or getting my eyes watery (wouldn't want use the cliche of, crying by drop of a hat, but instead...) I can cry while watching a movie, where the actress' scearming, hanging from top of a building, for the super hero save her (movie in mind - Spider Man 3) I would practically start crying before he gets to her...this is how pathetic I am (pathetic..gosh I use that word once too often...aaaaarrrgggghhhh).
6.I iron just about ANYTHING before I wear it! I iron all my underwears and inners clothings, I iron my hair bands, socks, scarfs, handkerchiefs (when I thought having one was cool! LOL!) and many many crazy mini things!!
7. (Told you rules are meant to be broken, I added a seventh one) Only bcoz I want y'al to say what it is you find odd about me, of the lil you think you know of me...please don't repeat what I said and don't try repeat what some else said (yes I know this may be tough!) Or you can add one of you!!
My tags Blk Wolf, Kiki, Standtall, Pammy, Don and Torrance...and incase y'al already been tagged, go ahead and tag someone else instead....
On a different note, just wan send my shout out to my mama (is her birthday today)...Didn't really get say happy mother's day to her when it came, coz to be honest, I don't have much say to her for being a good mom or whatever they say to mom's on that day, except of course thank you for bringing me into this brutal, loveless world of PAIN! Incase y'al wondering why am talking like this, I don't and never had a motherly relationship with my mom, but working on it!! Same way am working on SO many other things!!
"Happy Birthday mom! And please try get yourself a MAN, get more babies and grow older together. Forty-nine with ONE child is not good enough, look at your mates....just saying. Love you nevertheless"
xx
Rules: (which are meant to be broken...JK)
1. Link the person who tagged you...
2. Mention the rules in your blog...
3. Tell about SIX unspectacular quirks of yours...
4. Tag SIX following bloggers by linking them... (is all about the sixes...lol)
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
Ok ama get to that...first though my quirks
1. I can't do my number TWO (or lulu as some of you know it best) anywhere else! Even when I sleep over a friends, or we go for tour somewhere, or even when we move, it takes me WEEKS for the DAMN thing come out!! (kinda like it needs familiarize itself with the environment first, just be sure...lol) Odd but ture!
2. I love going to the gas station coz I LOVE smell of fuel!!Just! And nothing more to it... :D
3. Am an idol addict! I watch ALL idols there is, from Indian idols, Pakistain idols, Asian idols, Russian idols, to South African idols, West and Southern African idols, Nigerian idols and of course the father of all idols "American Idols" (though the British Pop Idols was the father, guess American Idols would be the STEP father then...LOL!) And is intersting to see the smiliarities they try put on the character of every American judge. The ever cheering and optimistic DIVA,Pula Abdul; the honest and nearly always possitive DAWG, Mr Randy Jackson (love that guy); and of course not forget our critical, burtally honest jugde, Simon Cowel (though he does have a soft spot!). In every idol, there's gotta be two guy jugdes and one girl, with exact SAME character of the judges from American idols! Pathetic if you ask me, coz they nearly NOT real...anyways, I enjoy the music anyways, not the pirated judges...(and it does eat up alot y'al time) But who knows, one of these days, you might see me as a contestent on ONE of the idols...LOL!
4. Ok this may not seem all that, but I couldn't think of anything else...I like keeping track of my blog viewers. As of now I got 111 viewers, form 11 countries and counting...saddly enough I also count other bloggers viewers...LOL!
5. This may not be all too much of a shocker, to those whom have been keeping track of my blog (and my name says it all!). I cry ALOT! I mean ALOT! I don't remember a tear free day EVER! Am serious here....I think I need help...I can't do anything without crying or getting my eyes watery (wouldn't want use the cliche of, crying by drop of a hat, but instead...) I can cry while watching a movie, where the actress' scearming, hanging from top of a building, for the super hero save her (movie in mind - Spider Man 3) I would practically start crying before he gets to her...this is how pathetic I am (pathetic..gosh I use that word once too often...aaaaarrrgggghhhh).
6.I iron just about ANYTHING before I wear it! I iron all my underwears and inners clothings, I iron my hair bands, socks, scarfs, handkerchiefs (when I thought having one was cool! LOL!) and many many crazy mini things!!
7. (Told you rules are meant to be broken, I added a seventh one) Only bcoz I want y'al to say what it is you find odd about me, of the lil you think you know of me...please don't repeat what I said and don't try repeat what some else said (yes I know this may be tough!) Or you can add one of you!!
My tags Blk Wolf, Kiki, Standtall, Pammy, Don and Torrance...and incase y'al already been tagged, go ahead and tag someone else instead....
On a different note, just wan send my shout out to my mama (is her birthday today)...Didn't really get say happy mother's day to her when it came, coz to be honest, I don't have much say to her for being a good mom or whatever they say to mom's on that day, except of course thank you for bringing me into this brutal, loveless world of PAIN! Incase y'al wondering why am talking like this, I don't and never had a motherly relationship with my mom, but working on it!! Same way am working on SO many other things!!
"Happy Birthday mom! And please try get yourself a MAN, get more babies and grow older together. Forty-nine with ONE child is not good enough, look at your mates....just saying. Love you nevertheless"
xx
Friday, May 16, 2008
Why I Cry
....I cry coz
I remember when you told me you loved me and couldn't love another
I cry coz
I doubted you (from the beginning), and had my alternative plans
I cry coz
By time I found out, you were SOME how real, it was too late
I cry coz
We gave up too soon
I cry coz
I reminisce all our crazy laughable moments, when we couldn't let go of eachother. Each and every one of them
I cry coz
I failed you and let you fail me
I cry coz
I let your best friend love me
I cry coz
We distoryed what would have been a beautiful legacy
I cry coz
I left my (some what fixable) three year relationship for you
I cry coz
I remember the look in your eyes when you clutched me in tears not wanting let go, when I found out you slept in same BED with her
I cry as I write this
And only bcoz I have come to release that we are far too young for such chaotic controversies...shame
I cry coz
Though I can't do anything about it (and I know how pathetic this may sound), but I can't see myself loving another so deeply (pathetic...I know!)
I cry coz
There's nothing else left me do...
I remember when you told me you loved me and couldn't love another
I cry coz
I doubted you (from the beginning), and had my alternative plans
I cry coz
By time I found out, you were SOME how real, it was too late
I cry coz
We gave up too soon
I cry coz
I reminisce all our crazy laughable moments, when we couldn't let go of eachother. Each and every one of them
I cry coz
I failed you and let you fail me
I cry coz
I let your best friend love me
I cry coz
We distoryed what would have been a beautiful legacy
I cry coz
I left my (some what fixable) three year relationship for you
I cry coz
I remember the look in your eyes when you clutched me in tears not wanting let go, when I found out you slept in same BED with her
I cry as I write this
And only bcoz I have come to release that we are far too young for such chaotic controversies...shame
I cry coz
Though I can't do anything about it (and I know how pathetic this may sound), but I can't see myself loving another so deeply (pathetic...I know!)
I cry coz
There's nothing else left me do...
EVER!
(should have made this my first post right? PERFECT opening...LOL! oh well!)
Merry weekend everyone!!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Some People Just Never Get It!
Hey people! Has been long i know....any time you see me not update on time, is this bad ass conenction of ours...it lets me read but not post! Anyways got some updates on Tallie for ya!
Back in the day when Tallie and i used to date, he had this fondness of calling his friends or cousins 'girls friends' 'BED mates'! So during one of our crazy dilemma periods, i got close to one of the girls and told her what he used to call her, she didn't at all act like she cared, coz she knew the guy (Tallies friend) had a girl! So anyways, outta the blue Tallie comes online and calls me a gossip (to him saying you have a nice shirt to someone else is classified as "Gossip" dumb! if you ask me!) am like where you coming from, and he won't say. So like whatever man!
What happend was....you see we started dating on April 12th 2005, so i decided send him a text on April 12th 2008 just to say this would have been our third year....NO reply, then i called, and he was like all acting up, feeling and talking funnily. So i hung up, got online and left him an offline saying he didn't really had do that coz atleast for the fact that we had history and all, he should treat me with respect! This was when he came online with his gossip crap! Asking me what i say about him to people, and am like 'you crazy?', 'first you sound SO certain i talk about you behind you, and now you asking??!' LOL! Playing mind games with me makes me sick!! Then he went on about me wanting him back and shit! I was like 'Nigga PLEASE! Just coz i send you a sms saying this WOULD have been our third year, DOES NOT in ANYWAY implie i want you back!!' LOL! 'i dumbed your ass, how can i want it back when i have ALREADY got another AFTER you!! JEEEZ!'
Y'al feel my anger here? I mean listen to him! In the end though, he had nothing! No gossip tales, no make believes, NOTHING! Pathetic! So we agreed on moving on (which we have already anyways) and wishing eachother all best, for the very LAST time...
Kinda same thing that happened between HIM and I! Would post on that soon too! (fingers crossed on my connection)
xx
Back in the day when Tallie and i used to date, he had this fondness of calling his friends or cousins 'girls friends' 'BED mates'! So during one of our crazy dilemma periods, i got close to one of the girls and told her what he used to call her, she didn't at all act like she cared, coz she knew the guy (Tallies friend) had a girl! So anyways, outta the blue Tallie comes online and calls me a gossip (to him saying you have a nice shirt to someone else is classified as "Gossip" dumb! if you ask me!) am like where you coming from, and he won't say. So like whatever man!
What happend was....you see we started dating on April 12th 2005, so i decided send him a text on April 12th 2008 just to say this would have been our third year....NO reply, then i called, and he was like all acting up, feeling and talking funnily. So i hung up, got online and left him an offline saying he didn't really had do that coz atleast for the fact that we had history and all, he should treat me with respect! This was when he came online with his gossip crap! Asking me what i say about him to people, and am like 'you crazy?', 'first you sound SO certain i talk about you behind you, and now you asking??!' LOL! Playing mind games with me makes me sick!! Then he went on about me wanting him back and shit! I was like 'Nigga PLEASE! Just coz i send you a sms saying this WOULD have been our third year, DOES NOT in ANYWAY implie i want you back!!' LOL! 'i dumbed your ass, how can i want it back when i have ALREADY got another AFTER you!! JEEEZ!'
Y'al feel my anger here? I mean listen to him! In the end though, he had nothing! No gossip tales, no make believes, NOTHING! Pathetic! So we agreed on moving on (which we have already anyways) and wishing eachother all best, for the very LAST time...
Kinda same thing that happened between HIM and I! Would post on that soon too! (fingers crossed on my connection)
xx
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